How's that for a catchy blog title? Would you like to know what it all means? First, we must take pause to celebrate the birth of my best friend: Sean Foley. Here we celebrated his b-day for a couple of days, on August 9th and 10th, and across many time zones. I managed to pull off making a salmon and rice meal and chocolate peanut butter cupcakes. I really am grateful that Sean has been part of my life for the past 34 years, and I'm grateful for his parents who raised him to be a good man!
So what's imposter syndrome? In the dictionary it states that an imposter is "a person who pretends to be someone else in order to deceive others, especially for fraudulent gain." Sometimes in psychology we talk about "imposter syndrome." While this isn't an official diagnosis, in my opinion it is a common experience shared by many people. Imposter syndrome refers to people who struggle with feeling deserving of their achievements. They feel that they aren’t as competent or intelligent as others might think—and that soon enough, people will discover the truth about them. It is common for many to feel this way when asked to present opinions or advice from a professional standpoint.
This week my experience with Jamiyah (referenced in my last post here) left me feeling just a bit like an imposter. The meeting started with a very formal welcome to their Singapore headquarters. We walked to the front stairs to find each side lined with men dressed in traditional clothing and carrying drums. They had us wait for the president of Jamiyah to come and greet us and then began to play their drums for us to walk through on our way to the room where I would present. Apparently that is a ritual they do for important visitors...and it was the beginning of my feeling a bit like an imposter (though not one "looking for fraudulent gain!").
They had asked me to speak for about 30 minutes and I put together some short thoughts on materials that the church uses for supporting mental and emotional health. I started by talking about a favorite story of mine from 3 Nephi 17 where Jesus Christ gathers the children around him and blesses them "one by one." This story illustrates to me the motivation I have for serving a mission which is to bless the lives of the individual. I shared how I believe that the most effective way to help individuals is through families and that belief has influenced my career in marriage and family therapy and my focus on working with couples. When couples are strong in their relationships, they build strong families. This was a theme that resonated well with them as we talked about mental health concerns in western society and throughout the world. I talked for about 15 minutes thinking that they would ask questions for another 15 minutes, but instead we ended up being there for around 90 minutes with a lot of fascinating back and forth.
In the end it was a good experience and I felt blessed to be able to speak and answer questions for that length of time. It was helpful that many in the room were also counselors and I saw nods of agreement about many of the things that I said. I still feel that any of them could have presented the same information but I felt their genuine interest in my views coming from western culture and from our church.
So, now what does chitter have to do with anything? Nothing, really, but I have another story to tell from my week about chittering. Chitter means to make a twittering or chattering sound. Did you know that there are common house geckos in South East Asia? Did you know that geckos make a tiny twittering sound that sounds like chittering? This week after the YSA institute class I went up to our office to take a phone call. When I entered the room I heard a noise in the garbage can and went to see if something was there. I didn't see anything, except that Sean had thrown an apple core there. Our garbage can in our office kitchen has a lid and I soon learned why. I thought that perhaps the noise was the apple core falling deeper into the garbage when I opened the door, and so I went to sit at my desk and wait for my call. As I sat there I heard a very tiny chittering sound. I went back and looked in the garbage again and still didn't see anything. After continuing to hear the sound I took the garbage and dumped it in the kitchen bin and still didn't see anything. When I went back into the office I finally saw a gecko scamper up the wall and into the ceiling tiles. Thankfully I have never seen a gecko in our apartment and I gently guided Sean that we can't leave food scraps in the office garbage anymore.
Photos of the week:
1 - 7: Highlights from our visit to Jamiyah
8-9: Birthday cards and gifts from home are so fun!
10-11: Birthday cheesecake (sadly, not Brock's) and cupcakes
12: e-card from a real smart-alecky senior missionary :)
13: Beautiful view of Singapore on National Day night.
14: Sean's dream of the last two years fulfilled: having more 3-guess Wordle wins than 4-guess Wordle wins!
15: Last night of the beloved New Testament Institute class.
16: This is what can happen when you pull out Google Translate during a baptismal service talk in Mandarin. Either the technology is not quite 100% or that was a much wilder talk than we suspected :)
17: The happy hikers knocking out the second leg of the Coast to Coast trail. We're now at about 15 of the 36 kilometers (about 9 of 22 miles)
Congrats on your talk, Vivian. Good for you! And, say Hi to the gecko from the Williams. :-)
Fun post! Choco peanut butter cupcakes, chittering (and winking) geckos, Sean’s Wordle triumph, and the great story and pics of the Jamiyah encounter & the common ground of family connection. Muchas gracias!
Ah yes, imposter syndrome and I are well acquainted. I’m so proud of you. Sounds intimidating but looks like you did a phenomenal job! Singapore looks like a beautiful place and I can’t wait to see it. But mostly you. I would like to request no geckos surprising me, however. Thanks for celebrating my big brother. He deserves it!